Rawr!

F to the I to the E to the R to the C to the E to the S to the T!
F-I-E-R-C-E-S-T!
Well, that's my new family.

So, this year's curriculum has been putting loads on my, well every Indonesian students', shoulder(s).
It's all about home-works, portfolios, projects, presentations, test, and more home-works.
We really have work so hard on everything.
It's not a day without holding a book or two.
One of the teacher even gave us a surprise monthly test.
*sigh*
The only good thing about this is that most of the projects are done by groups.
And thanks God my classmates are cooperative.
We would do it together and help each other out.
Well, enough about school.

My class is somehow different.
No, not the bad kind of different but the cute one(?)
This class is really annoying, and I mean it.
But, they're also magical. HAHA
They would be so sweet, so funny, so wonderful.
Like a family :)
I just hope the rumors about class rotations are not true.
I wouldn't want to change a thing about this class.
I'm used to it already.
But I would still love to hit a wall looking at them.
I love them lol.

My parents would let me go out with my friends more than I used to.
But the "night hour" is still available.
Nah, it's okay, makes me closer to them.
But recently, I sprained my ankle......after falling from a bicycle.
And that made me like someone with a broken leg...
Now I know how miserable it is not to have a normal foot.
Prayers to all.

As I'm typing, I tried to remember what I'm doing recently.
And I just realized that everything I do recently is studying.
Wow, I'm everything I told people I would never be, a-not-lazy student.

Okay, so I'm starting to babble crazy.
See you :)

Level Up.

Since last month, I finally graduate the friggin 10th grade.
And guess what?
I got in the science major!
Nothing to be proud of, I know.
But, this really paid off every hard work and effort.
Thanks God.

We had approximately 3 weeks of holiday.
I spent the first week by sleeping, watching movies online, re-reading my old comics and novels. barely showering, eating food and snacks, and every-lazy-thing else.
I had a 4-days trip to the nearest country to my city, Singapore.
Not alone, but with 7 others.
I don't recall doing any shopping spree.
But I do remember we went to a water park, ate a lot of food etc.
I spent the last 2 weeks of holiday at school.
Busy preparing and meeting for the students orientation day, here known as MOS.
We came to the school when no other students did.
The orientation was hell of fun.
Tiring, so very tiring, yet fun.
We got to scold our juniors when they didn't follow our instructions.
But, we're scolding them not for the sake of fun, but just to educate them a little bit.
We got to give them a little education, teach them jingles, etc.

There were 7 classes for this year's 10th grade.
I was the tutor in Science 3.
Oh, and each classes have their own names, which in this case, Science 3's class name's Bill Gates.
At first, everyone pissed me off because if not following instructions.
But then, I am (kind of) fond of them.
Another family given by God to me.
This year, I also got into the class of Science 3.
No, this class haven't made any name.
I'm really hoping that I could do well in this class.
I'm actually scared, because of the new curriculum.
This new curriculum,for sure, will really push us to our limits. #sosure
But, oh well, anything to pay off our parents' hard work.
Wish me luck! *crosses fingers*

I've been through a rough time.
This.
Couple.
Of.
Months.
*sigh*
About everything.
About people.
About life.
But, being sad about it all the time wouldn't fix anything.
It's okay to be sad and cry right?
As long as we don't do it then make others worry...right?

Well, I'm starting to talk nonsense.
It's 2:08 AM now, so I need to go..............................
Continue downloading some more music HAHA
Goodnight;Goodmorning everyone!

Okay?

So... by looking at this post's title, it's obvious that I read and watched The Fault in Our Stars.
WHICH made my cried. Okay, that's cheesy.

But seriously tho, this story is just flawless.
The novel itself made me so attached to it, I couldn't resist not reading it.
And the movie itself, just like other novel-adapted movie, is not a hundred percent the same with the book.
Some scenes from the book were not shown, which was devastating , of course.
Some scenes were there, but I think were changed, which was... not so bad.
And the rest was just flawless.
The tears were worth it, I promise. #anothercheesyphrase
Don't worry, I won't spoil anything.
But this movie-book are highly recommended.
Do enjoy! #ThankYouJohnGreen

Well....
It's almost a year since I first got into senior high.
It was scary at first (it really was), but it's not that bad after all.
The teachers and subject were sure hard, but everything else was enjoyable.
And it's almost a year since I'm in this awesome class.
I had mentioned them earlier and even made a post about them.
This Friday, June 20th 2014, we're going to make this farewell party.
Simply because this week will be the last week for us to be together.
After this Saturday, June 21st (which is the day for us to take our report cards), we won't be classmates anymore.
It's sad because to be freaking honest, I'm proud of this class.
No freaking bullies and no freaking racism.
Groups were 'naturally' made, so it's fine.
I'm proud of being a part of this class.
And I really would like to apologize to everyone.
I know that I'm such a douchie and such a pain in the as* to all of you guys.
I know that I'm such a talkative and annoying person.
But that only happens every time I'm comfortable with someone, so yeah.
No heart feelings?
You guys filled my first year of senior high with a lot of lessons learned, smiles mended, tears wasted and leisure well-used.
I'm also annoyed by you guys, every.single.day.
But I have no regrets knowing and befriending you guys.
Thank you... for everything... especially for the companies.

"Thank you for our little infinity." -The Fault in Our Stars.

P.S: I hope that we would all pass this year.
P.Ss: And I really hope that our bond would not be broken.

May!

Okay... I'm so late but...
It's the freaking month of May!
Which means that....
I'm taking my final exam this month.
*sigh*
Moving on!
I don't know what to talk about April...
I don't really enjoy that month.
A lot of holidays = tons of homework & tests!
A week of holiday = 2 weeks of non-stop homework & tests.
And if I'm not mistaken...
I received my mid-sem report card.
Turned out great, actually, yey.
Except for one subject... economy.
Screw that (:
Oh! Wait... The Holy Week was on April.
The only thing that excites me (?)
Easter was amazing... even though this is my first Easter without egg-hunting :(
The Church was not giving out eggs, so no one had an egg-search.

Hmmm... I really have no topic for this post.

I started the month of April and May roughly.
Seriously...
I was changed (?) as class president a week before.
I don't mind though.
It'll only last for a month, since the exam is this month.
But, seriously? Until now, I don't know how it feels to be a class president.
Most of the teachers still depend on the ex-president.
Nah, I'm okay with that.
I'm not really stressing that out lol.
OH AND I'm really working my sweat off to see these on my card
Math         -75
Biology     -75
Physics     -75
Chemistry -75
Because, I'm hoping to take Science major next year.
Science major because I can't handle Social.
No, not being arrogant or watevs, but, I am so weak on Social.
I don't know why some people would always say that Science major's students are cleverer than Social's.
For me, everyone is great on their own major.
Science's great for Science, and Social's for Social.
Enough for that now.
Thinking about scores are devastating.
I really want to be an exchange student.
Ah, forget it.

I'm having this movie-making project.
Not going well.
Friday's the deadline.
No.
No way.
I hope that it'll be done soon.

School is stressing tbh.
Kill meh!
Nah, just kidding.
I still want to continue my studies.
*evil kisses*

I'm still going to post another one tonight.
And that is only when I'm having the mood to.

Nicholas Sparks's.

Recently, I like to watch movies until late night.

Ho Ho Ho.

AND, I'm in love with some drama movies.

Movies that are adapted from Nicholas Sparks's novel.

Nicholas Sparks is a novelist-scriptwriter from the U S of A.

Wiki says that he wrote 17 bestseller novels.

No, I don't read/have the novels.

8 out of 17 novels are adapted to movies.

And I've watched 7 out of 8 movies.

I haven't watch "Night in Rodanthe".

I COULDN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE ON THE INTERNET.

*sobs* 

Okay... moving on.

1. Message in a Bottle (1999)

    For me, this movie is just okay compared to the others. But if this story actually happened to a couple...damn. That should be so romantic and unforgettable huh? It's amazing to watch their effort to be with each other and how the girl cures/heals(?) this guy's past memories.

"Teresa, I don't want to lose you."
"Then don't."

2. A Walk to Remember (2002)

    This is a very romantic and meaningful movie. It's about a rebel teen who actually changed because of a girl which was later diagnosed with a leukemia. He granted every single wish she had including getting married in the same chapel as was her deceased mother. But then, she passed. This movie is touching.

"I'm sorry she never got her miracle."
"She did get her miracle, Landon, her miracle was you."

3. The Notebook (2004)

    I don't know, I just like this movie a lot. This story is about an elderly man reading a romantic story to a patient on a nursing home. Turns out that the main character in that story was the two of them. And in the end, they died together. You should really watch this, the feelings are different if I told it.

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday."

4. Nights in Rodanthe (2008)

    Haven't watch :( soon I hope :)

5. Dear John (2010)

    Ahh... another romantic movie. It's about summer loving continued into a long distance relationship because the guy was an army. They sent each others letters while they're away. But then, the girl got married with someone else, a relative, which then broke his heart. But then, the husband passed. And in the end, the two met again. The main male character? Channing Tatum <3

"I fell in love with her when we were together, then fell deeper in love with her in the years we were apart."

6. The Last Song (2010)

    This movie's main characters are Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. Aww, ikr? This one's sweet. It tells how she got closer to her dad since the divorce. About how he got close to him but wasn't approved(?) by his mom. But then, in the end, he moved to another college (not the one his mom wants) just to be with her. I love their chemistry like a lot a lot.

"He was ordinary in a world that loved the extraordinary."

7. The Lucky One (2012)

    The male lead is Zac Efron *chokes**lovestruck*. This movie is also greaattt. If this really happens, I would go "awwwww". He was on a war when he found a girl's picture which he considered a life saver because since then, he's saved until the end. He then looked for the girl in the picture and found her. HE couldn't tell her the reason he's there and ended working for her. They fell in love and after a lot of problems, they're together.

"Why did you come here?"
"To find you."

8. Safe Haven (2013)

    Okay, another must-watch movie. The story's about a girl who left her husband for good then stayed in a small town(?). He then got close with a shop owner, his 2 children, and her neighbor. A lot happened, including her husband coming to look for her and then got killed. The shop got burned down too. But, they actually become a family in the end and a mystery about her neighbor was revealed.

"Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys."

The point is that all of these movies are romantic and also touching.

I cried on some scenes...hmm...

I have no regrets watching them.

If you're feeling sentimental and have nothing to do.

These movies are recommended.

I love them to bits.

Well, I guess that's all.

I'm getting sleepy.

Good night. 

Hello love.

Another post of me whining.
Sorry... *sigh*

So, here I am breaking down.
NAH, I'm on the edge.
Okay, moving on...
I'm not feeling good... mentally.
I'm mentally sick, yes, I'm crazy, whatever.
And right now, I don't know where to start.

Hmmm...
I'm sad.
Lonely.
Pathetic huh? I think so too.
It's hard to tell what I want to tell.
I'm all mixed up.

I still remember when my religion teacher asked me a question.
Do you have a best friend? Why can you tell that someone is your best friend?
I said I do have and when he asked who, I couldn't speak a word.
It's clear in my head that I consider everyone my best friend.
But then, not even a single name came out from my mouth.
He then explained what a best friend is.
Best friend(s) are those who speak and listen, give but never ask, etc.
I still think that everyone is my best friend though.
I just can't admit it.
I never can.
Since primary school until now.
I'm scared that when I say so, everyone will just say they're not.
And I sure would hurt if they really say that.
I don't remember telling my mom or anyone else who my best friend(s) is/are.
We can never tell what people really think about us.

For some reason, I'm always left out on a group of people.
I couldn't fit in... as always.
I would always be the pathetic one.
I'm the burden there. The bad aura.
Something like that lol.
Who on earth wants to hang out with me?
I can barely ask someone out lol.

Then...
I hate myself...
For being jealous, moody, etc.
I get that feelings even when people tell me I shouldn't.
I don't know...
I just miss everything.
I don't want things to change.
Right now, something has changed.
The spark is gone.
I miss it... a lot.
I miss making...smile.
I miss everything about...
I want everything back.
I know that people/everything change but...at least...
I just want...to be mine.
So this guilt won't haunt me.

I still want to be the reason to your laughter and your smile.
Not your tears and anger.
I want to be a blessing to you.
Not a burden.
I want to love and be loved.

Hello love.

Dear Blog

I don't have a diary.
I don't want to have one either.
But sometimes, there are things that I want to share with someone/something so badly.
So, this blog will be my diary-like.

Dear blog,
Why am I such an awful person?
I am such a terrible person.
One of the thing that I hate the most about myself is jealousy.
I get so jealous even about the smallest problem.
Here's why I'm talking about this.
My parents are the strict type.
I can't go out of house after 6 pm.
My friends, and him, likes to go out after 6.
Automatically, I can't join them.
But then, I would get jealous.
I'll always think that I'm no good girl for feeling like that.
It's not their fault, but I'm jealous.
Also when he's so so so friendly with others, I usually walk away cause usually, I have no idea of what to say or do.
He'll be this sweet friendly guy with them.
He would play fights with some of them.
I know exactly that he's just friendly, but it's okay to be jealous right?
I would always remind myself to be positive but sometimes... it bothers me.
This next one is about social medias, but I'll pass.
I feel so childish and so stupid.
I am even jealous with his games.
I really feel so stupid talking about this.
But I need to let it out.
Just this once.
Because, I just can't hold it every single time.
I'm afraid to tell about this directly to him or just my friends cause I don't want to look like I'm begging for... you know. :)
It's fun you know, to look at him play with his friends, joke with them, you can see his happy face.
But then, I would always be the mood crusher, it's like every time I stay, they would watch their words and actions.
It's like a 180 degree of environment change.
And that... is also the reason why I walk away when his having his friends.
I'm not the type of girl who makes a fun situation.
That's why, every time I get jealous, I would always remind myself:
"He needs his space and refreshing, back off."
Yeah, I still sound so stupid huh
Well, not everything is told here, but at least, some of it.
A bit relieved... a bit.
There are still a lot bugging me, killing me slowly.
These tears are even dried up, lol.
But, what else can I do?
Knowing that he's happy is already a relieve.

SOOOOOO
I'm just going to lay on my bed and...
I don't know.
Bye.

#SoRandom : InfXV.

Right now, I'm feeling bored.

Sitting here alone with my lappy and phone.

Listening to music and browsing.

LOL OK.

Since I'm bored...

I'm going to tell you something about something special.

I'm only a part of this for appx 8+ months.

As you can read in my recent post, this is one of my family.

This is my class, Infinity XV.

This class, to be honest, is annoying.

But... I am too... so... yeah....

Moving on! 

This class consists of 42 students (incl me)

22 handsome boys and 20 beautiful girls.

*I choked lol, it's true tho.*

Our adviser is our own female English teacher, Miss W.

I don't think I want to mention names here :)

This class? Still my best class too.

I love them EVEN THOUGH I get frustrated sometimes.

But love hurts a little when you're doing it right HA!

More or less, they're amazing, unique on their own way.

Most of them can set my mood right.

Even though it's hard to say but...

For me, indirectly, this class has a very great teamwork.

We don't really noticed it, but sometimes, I do.

The "bad" kind of teamwork and the good ones.

Not to brag about it but:

According to one of my teacher, our class has the highest class score average.

And the students in this class, are just so unique.

Some are athletics, smart, artsy, musicians, etc.

For some reason, no matter how annoying this class is, I wouldn't want to change anything about this class.

I love it the way it is.

The loud noise, the crazy shows, the awkwardness, etc.

We got into fights, but then everything will be back to normal.

Well... some problems are not finished but were left unfinished.

But, we're not worrying about that - at least I do.

Right now, I just want to describe everyone in three words.

I'm still not mentioning names,but you know who you are.

Leggo?

A.C-crazy,handsome,brave

A.N-listener,faithful,hardworking.

A.L-bubbly,tall,skinny

B.A.T-listener,hilarious,bubbly

C.P-hilarious,dabomb,listener

C-handsome,friendly,helpful

C.C.U-daammnnn,hilarious,listener

C.Y-dabombbb,sporty,listener

D.Y-cuteee,friendly,unpredictable

D.T-hilarious,hardworking,funnehh

D-meme,gamer,smart

E-hilarious,smart,dependable

E.P.K-listener,hilarious,petiteee

F-unpredictable,sweet,skinneeehhh

G.C.D-DAMN,hilarious,funneehhh

H-unpredictable,calm,funny

I.C-cute,funny,unpredictable

J.W-funny,annoying,skinny

J.C-jerk,bubbly,smart

J-bubbly,handsome,friendly

K.A.J-kind,hardworking,dependable

K.W-mysterious,quiet,fun

M-unpredictable,hardworking,dependable

O.K-bubbly,outgoing,nosy

P.N-she is skinny

P-friendly,bubbly,petite

R.T-friendly,outgoing,bubbly

R.P-quiet,funny,unpredictable

R.K-smartttttt,hardworking,dependable

R.L-dependable,fun,friendly

S.V-hardworking,diligent,clumsy

S.L-annoying,fun,weird

S-listener,weirddddddddd,lol

T.A-damnn,bubbly,listener

T.T.A-friendly,bubbly,creative

T.W-dependable,hardworking,funnn

V-funny,hardworking,dependable

W.M-kind,bubbly,hardworking

W.Y-smarttt,diligent,friendly

Y.A-loud,cheerful,smart

Y.W-smart,hardworking,dependable

My description?

S.S-dependable(not),hardworking(not),smart(not)

LOL

I'm tired and it's late night.

So, I'm going to bed and continue dating with my phone.

Sorry, if you know who you are on the list.

Please don't feel something bad about me.

I'm not judging, just expressing opinions.

I love you guys!

You're the best start for my senior high.

Let's just hope teachers will have less problems with us.

Let's keep our bond strong.

God bless this class and everyone in it.

Amen.

Good night.

14th and 17th!

These refer to February 2014's.
I know it was 4 days ago.
And yesterday.
And I'm still going to write about it.

This is one out of two Val's Day I've ever had.
The first one was in my 2nd grade junior high.
The first time I ever felt the spirit of the day.
Before the day, my closest friends and I decided to exchange chocolates/gifts.
And we decided to go shop for the chocs&gifts together.
Since there were 4 of us, we split into two.
We bought chocs for our classmates together.
Then we secretly bought for each other.
It's funny cause when we reached the cashiers, we went back to the chocs part one buy one.
So we didn't know what we bought for each other.
We even paid them at different cashiers in the end.
Then we hid those chocs in our bags.
Childish much? HAHAHAHA
That was the first time I ever felt so excited about val's day.
We hugged each other on the day.
We exchanged the chocs and gifts.
We ate the chocs together, it was cute for some reason.
It was unforgettable.

The second best was this year's.
Spent it my closest friends and someone special.
#OopsieDaisy :3
The val's eve was kinda fun.
We chatted in this group about how val's day going to be.
Most said that it's just a normal Friday.
And said that nothing special about seeing couples giving each other gifts.
"It's such a burden," they said.
But, one of us planned of asking a girl to be his.
So we decided to meet at a food-truck for dinner.
The next day, val's day, was... un-describable(?)
Well, for me, I loved it.
The whole day at school was not that special.
But after school, this friend of mine actually succeeded before the actual time.
We still went to the place after school.
Before that, 4 of us went to my home to wait for the others.
Then some of the rest came here too.
So when we finally decided to go first, we took selfies and pictures while waiting for the rest.
AND, UNEXPECTEDLY, "HE" GAVE ME PRESENTS.
I have no idea on what to say.
I smiled&laughed like an idiot.
He gave me two things at first, then told me those were not all.
I didn't really get what he meant at first.
I gave him something too though.
A freaking simple gift unwrapped :(
When we reached the place, he gave me the second gift.
He told me that I could open it.
So, I decided to open it when we found a place to sit.
I couldn't believe what I saw that time.
The first two things he gave me was...
An Indonesian Justin Bieber's Scrapbook and One Direction's Dare To Dream: Life As One Direction!
I couldn't do anything else but closed my mouth and smiled out of excitement.
And FYI, he doesn't like Justin and 1D AT ALL.
Yet, he still bought and gave me this.
What surprised me the most was the last gift.
It's a pink box with a ribbon on top.
When I opened it... my jaws just dropped.
There's a medium-sized Rilakkuma doll, a pair of Minnie Mouse earrings, a Minnie Mouse head-band, and a Stitch phone-plug.
How can I not "aww" that?
I was surprised, not knowing what to say or do at that time.
It was a public place so I decided to just hug him while sitting down lol.
I felt like the happiest girl in the world.
Too bad I could only give him that.
Then, for some reason, I need to get home early.
And he... accompanied me home.
That day was... indeed beautiful.
Even more beautiful than the days I get to see him.
#cheesymuch xoxo!
I'm thankful, I didn't really expect that much, but I am thankful.

NEXT is, 17th of February twenty-fourteen.
Which means, it's a reminder of the fourth month of us.
Cheers!
Just like the other months, it's special but nothing much.
But this time, we went swimming.
Not only us, we went with the others.
I hate how I look, especially when we swam.
I look damn fat like ew.
But who cares...
Then we played, laughed, obviously swam, and blablabla.
Later when we went home, we're in the same car.
It's sad. There's my brother so I can't really be close to him the whole trip.
Not. Even. A. Single. Picture.
Nyaww, sorry I did say that, I'm weird like this.
The thing is...
I was happy.
I was grateful.
That was the first time we went out after school on month reminders.
Month reminders, for me, reminds us of how long we've been officially together.
Of how long we fought for&with each other.
Reminds us, or maybe only me, about how blessed we are.
Reminds me about how short our journey is and how long I wish we will be.
Happy 4th.
I did, I am, I will, love you.

WOAH, I obviously talk too much.
Wait, I usually do... #ew
That's just who I am.
Thanks for whoever reading this.

s-c-h-o-o-l

I'm writing this post simply because...
I dislike school.
I'm sick of it.

School is not the worst place ever.
Well, for me.
I hate when adults tell me "You're a student and you SHOULD study."
Duh, you don't say?
But, we have our limits.
I hate it when people tell us to study.
Every... freaking... time.
We're not robots, don't set us to study that hard.
I get that studying is important for our future.
But then again, we have our limits.
Sometimes, we should refresh our minds.
Maybe by sleeping, playing games, etc.
Happiness is also important for our future eih?
I don't get the idea why school teachers are being so hard on us students.
To discipline us. To educate us. I KNOW.
But, who could study and understand what they're teaching if we're under their pressure?
And I don't get the idea of giving homeworks after planning on giving a test.
I don't freaking get it!
Especially when the homeworks have nothing related to the test.
ugh. please.
The harder you pressure the young, the rebel they become.
Yes I agree with that.
Don't they see how hard we're putting our effort on their subjects?
We studied so freaking hard, but rarely passed.
And about studying.
Remind us to but not scold us when we're not.
When you scold us, we won't even focus on the subject.
And will never do...
Just that, we're old enough.
We know which is good and which is bad.
We know our limits.
Those who don't? Then this is not to relate to them...sorry.
And I'm sure that... most of the brilliant students will hate it when people ask them to study.
It's like "I know what I should do."
I know that you adults care but we need something refreshing... everyday.
We can prove it to you guys that we're not that bad.

Well, forget about that.
The best things about school?
THE MEMORIES MADE THERE.
You know, the roller-coaster kind of memories.
The happy ones, sad ones, even the rage ones.
The memories you and your friends make.
The memories you and your classmates have.
The memories of being scolded together or maybe alone.
The memories of fighting with each other.
The awkward moments memories.
The times you're laughing so hard with your friends your stomach hurts.
The memories that every picture taken there holds.
The memories of being late maybe?
The memories of failing and passing.
The memories of having fun on P.E. lessons.
The memories of eating lunch together with your gals.
The memories of making friends with someone new.
The memories of knowing someone without knowing what they'll mean.
The memories of crying/seeing people cry.
The memories of acceptance and rejection.
The memories of every celebration.
The memories of skipping class or even skipping school.
The memories of breaking the rules.
The memories of cheating a.k.a team work on tests.
The memories of being a rebel and loud person.
And etc.
School is not that bad.
You meet your friends there.
And school is one of the place that gives you the opportunity to make your parents proud.
Something that may not worth their blessings to us, but still worth something.
Yeah...
The only thing we can do?
Enjoy the moments of being a student.
Even though this is a pretty rough ride.

P.S. Don't forget that you wished for being this old when you were younger. And now you're wishing to be that young again which is impossible. So before you regret everything, why don't you enjoy? Before you become an adult with tons of harder life tasks and rougher rides.

Girls?

This is a very random post.
This post is about how girls feel&think. MOSTLY.

Not saying every girl. :)

I'm not sure where to start.

Most girls feel insecure. Yes, INSECURE.

That feeling is the worst feeling ever.

The feeling of not good enough.

And it makes us even hate ourselves.

#Once again, I post about what I'm thinking at the moment only, sorry if you don't relate#

Hurt ourselves, curse ourselves, even though we know that's a sin.

For some reason, we just hate ourselves for everything we are.

We hate our hair for being messy every time no matter how hard we fix them; for being too short or too long; for being too straight or too curly.

We hate our eyes for being too small or big.

We hate our body for being thin/curvy.

We just think that every inch of our body is not right.

We'll always say to ourselves to ignore society.

But, that barely works.

We will always care about what people say.

We get jealous of other girls.

"Oh my, she's so much prettier."

"How I want to look like her and have a body like her."

"Some" girls might even be sad just by looking at themselves in the mirror.

Well, for me, society will never be satisfied.

We ARE the society, and we never are satisfied with ourselves.

I know that it's easier to say than to do, but...

Ignore the people staring and judging when they see you.

You can either walk away or smile to them.

Smile to them... That might do the trick.

Let everyone know that you're born not to impress every single person in this world.

Oh and, you can either be yourself or be what you want to be.

You only live once - not yolo. 

Words hurt. They do. I feel you.

Some girls are also scared of not having friends.

Scared that most of their "friends" are only there when they have something.

Scared of being used by their "friends".

Especially when we've been betrayed before.

They say that they're our BFFs but then don't have any trust on us.

Every relationship needs trust.

And some girls...

Are just scared about that one guy they love.

"What if he doesn't like me back?"

"What if I'm not good enough for him?"

"Those other girls are much better than me for him."

"I'm scared that he'll be scared of me."

"I'm scared that he can't accept my flaws."
Cause everything we ever wanted is to be loved the same way we loved.
When we love someone...
Their flaws won't get in the way, but our flaws will.
Back again to "I'm never going to be good enough."
Well, here's the thing.
You're not perfect, neither is he and everybody else.
Someone might be perfect in your eyes.
But, everyone has a flaw.
We accepted theirs and we should also accept ours.
And if someone really loves you...
I'm sure that they can't find any flaw in you.
In their eyes, you're perfect.
Insecurities make us over think and over thinking kills.
It's easy to say this than do it (I know), but: stop being insecure, put a smile on - stop faking them - and just enjoy your life.
I know that I, myself, still have problems with that.
But hey... there's nothing wrong with baby-steps.
Besides, there's someone helping me with that.
Even though he doesn't realize that he is.

HAPPINESS might be the number one thing every girl wants in their life.
So boys, grant them a little bit of that.
Happy girls are the prettiest you know.


P.S. I know that this post is freaking random.
I'm not writing in a good order.
But this is just a post of me pouring what's inside my mind.
And I wanted to write about this because a friend of mine is feeling this way and I freaking relate.
So, I hope this is enjoying?

Oh and, girls out there, PLEASE STOP HURTING YOURSELVES.
Every girl deserves to feel beautiful no matter what their size/colour/shape/etc.
And girls, you're all beautiful.

#SoRandom: 100 Facts.

I know that this post is so random.
May not be important.
But oh well, enjoy!

1. I am a female. I am a girl.
2. I am 15 now.
3. I blow candles every August. (AUGUST BABY)
4. A leo and a tiger. Rawr.
5. Named Steffani Sylvia Tan.
6. A half-blood of Chinese&Bataknese.
7. Globophobic.
8. Coulrophobic.
9. Trypophobic.
10. Ailurophobic.
11. PUPPIES! I love them.
12. Talkative, moody, etc.
13. I love nicknames, just don't change my family name.
14. A hardcore Belieber!
15. I am a Vampire and a Gleek. I love being both.
16. I "had" a lot of dogs, hamsters, turtles, fishes.
17. I love food, like a lot a lot.
18. Like warm drinks.
19. Rarely eat sweets, NAH who am I kidding.
20. I like to dance,sing,play guitar&piano.
21. I can't do any of the above.
22. I love to watch movies.
23. I get addicted easily to series movies.
24. I live in Batam, Indonesia.
25. I'm in my first year senior high.
26. I get jealous easily.
27. I want to be thin and skinny.
28. I want to be beautiful.
29. I want to be smart.
30. Interior designer/chef. HA!
31. I have boyish voice.
32. And I kind of dislike it.
33. When I see something cute/romantic, I go directly "Awwwww".
34. Very slow&hard music make me sleepy.
35. I have a dad& lil bro. They're extremely handsome and annoying.
36. I have a mom. She's flawlessly beautiful and talkative.
37. I freaking love them to pieces.
38. I'm an ugly duckling lol.
39. I talk a lot but I'm lonely.
40. Currently... you know... #clue:17
41. I get frustrated when I get low grades.
42. I cry a lot some nights.
43. I'm an insecure one.
44. I'm a Catholic.
45. I love dolls. Especially teddies!
46. I love taking selcas, don't judge me for this lol.
47. If polaroid refills are not that expensive, I wouldn't mind using them always.
48. I love wearing dress only when I'm alone in my room (?!)
49. I have nothing interesting in me.
50. I love it when people show their love to someone. Just cute.
51. I'm an awkward person.
52. I am bubbly. But that word is not strong enough lol.
53. I hope a lot.
54. And I got disappointed a lot from hoping.
55. I don't mind waiting for someone. Especially if they're special.
56. People got bored of me so easily.
57. And that tends to break me.
58. I'm not really daring.
59. I love smiling especially faking them.
60. When I fight, I will always feel guilty.
61. If I'm guilty/moody, I will hate myself.
62. I know it when people are bored of me.
63. But I hush.
64. I hope that people would be more open.
65. I wanna meet Justin Bieber so badly.
66. I love surprises.
67. I love horror movies even though I hate the shocking parts.
68. I'm not good at any sports but I love them.
69. I love people too much even though I know the risk.
70. I like taking risks.
71. I would like to have my own car.
72. My mom and dad are strict and discipline by the way.
73. I don't like seeing people sad/pissed.
74. Never been to any Justin's concert.
75. When I'm lonely, I will just sleep.
76. Always lonely... so I sleep a lot.
77. I hate it when people ask me to study.
78. I don't think that I have any talent.
79. I love riding motorbikes. High speed of my own.
80. I love learning new things.
81. I love hanging out.
82. Give me ice cream and I'll shout my mouth up.
83. I feel like the happiest girl in the world when meeting/playing with a baby/toddler.
84. I get a lot of bruise since kindergarten.
85. I'm not graceful/elegant.
86. I don't like how I look lol.
87. I know I can't so I'm trying to love myself.
88. For some reason, I love math more that chem.
89. I don't like history and chem.
90. I like break times. Who doesn't?
91. I love him. Who? Him.
92. Social medias are my hideout.
93. I love the fashion world but I'm not fashionable.
94. I laugh a lot.
95. I like being spoiled by...
96. Hoping for something helpless romantic.
97. I love the August month. My freaking month!
98. Hard-hearted > Hard on everything but that's just because I care.
99. I love good morning & good night greets.
100. I love "I Love You"s. Don't you?

100 facts done!
Random and strange facts about me.
Unimportant I know. LOL.
Goodnight peeps!

P.S. Tomorrow's my first day of school after 6 days of holiday. I'm sad. I'm weary, I don't want to go. But there's no choice, is there? BAH.

Lonesome?

I'm sure that most of us have experienced feeling left out, forgotten, abandoned, etc.
And some of us might feel that every single day of his/her life.
Well, I happened to be like that.
I'm not an attention seeker, I just want to express my feelings.

Back to this, let's take an example:
When I'm in my class, everybody knows what I'm like.
I'm the bubbly, noisy, annoying, irritating, and hyperactive kind of girl.
I rarely shut my mouth.
And I rarely stop moving.
When I'm that kind of girl, everyone sure does know me.
But when I'm quiet and gloomy?
Well, nobody cares.
Nobody wants to be with someone gloomy like that.
But... there are times that we'll feel that way right?
"Life is full of ups and downs."
People feeling down or gloomy should not be abandoned.
A company would mean so much to them.
Even when they say that they want to be alone, they don't really do.
Another example is when I'm in a group of friends.
I like to be accepted in every circle.
It's just fun you know.
Having a lot of friends with different circles.
Feeling left out is the second strongest feeling when being in a circle.
The first is surely feeling happy.
When you're not the kind of person who stays in only one circle,
You'll always feel left out when you're being in EVERY circle.
It's simply because among them, they're much closer than you're.
It hurts. Of course it hurts.
People always say that it's just our thoughts.
But put yourself in my shoe.
You'll understand the feeling.
You can also feel abandoned in your family.
Especially your cousins&relatives.
Sometimes, they would take among themselves without noticing that you're there.
But, I don't really care about this one.
Not important at all.
Sometimes I thought to myself
"They're close with me only when they need something."
"They don't care about what I'm going through."
"No one's here when I need someone."
But I always scold myself for thinking like that.
Instead, I think the other way around.
I make myself think positively.
But, I can't deny that it's hard.
I barely talk to people I know via social medias.
It's like by the time I got home for school...
I became the friendless(?) girl.

I have friend trust issues.
You know, when a friend you love so much hurts you.
Since then, you have a hard time trusting anyone else being your friend.
Scared of being hurt again.
But... I don't know.
This trust issues kind of made me hate myself.
It's like, what did I do to you?
Why do you do this? I trusted you.
Especially when they call themselves your bestfriend.
I never consider someone as my bestfriend unless they feel the same way about me too.
I'm just scared...
Being hurt repeatedly is the one thing everyone should avoid.

I... kinda hate myself about this section.
I know that this is not even close to good, but sometimes, I consider myself a jinx.
I've got some bestfriends. And you know what?
They all left... just as soon as I'm getting closer to them.
Left here is leaving town/school.
And I would just always be lonely. again. and again.
This might also be a reason why I have friend trust issues.
I'm scared that people will actually leave me again.
You know that you're the reason to their leaving.
And you know that you have to move on.
And think positively.
They left town, not you.
You should be happy you still have the chance of meeting them.
LOL, am I being too cheesy again?
This is not exactly what I'm feeling.
But I think that this kinda sums them all.

What I want/wish?
My friends to be happy.
To not be left out.
To not feel left out.
To just have company when you need one.
and everything else cause I'm not going to continue hehe.

Well, I guess that's about it.
Nothing more nothing less.

P.S. I don't think that I'm talking common sense right now LOL. My mind's startled right now.
#peace.

Loved, Love, Will Always Love.

Do you ever love someone so much?

You love them so much that you don't mind about how many flaws they have.

So much that it hurts to not make them happy because that's the only thing that matters.

Yes I might sound cheesy, but, I just need to let my feelings out once awhile.

I think that I... am feeling this way right now. In love with someone.

He's not the most handsome guy, or the hottest guy in the world.

But, he's charming. At least for me.

He makes me happy, maybe not directly, but always.

I don't mind, waiting for him for hours.

Talking nonsense to him everyday.

Being with him doing nothing.

I just want to be with him. Spending my time with him.

Not that I'm overly attached, NO, I just wanted to.

Is wanting to be with someone you love wrong?

Especially when you both are official... yes we are.

FYI, he's a gamer. Big time.

His attention is split between his games and me.

It's kind of annoying but I seriously don't mind.

I can't be with him 24/7; I'm not his mom; It's his rights.

To be honest, I'm feeling insecure.

His girl friends are beyond beautiful. Far beyond me.

He's more friendly to them, and acts different when his with me.

I'm not jealous, maybe a little.

As long as that smile stays in his face, I don't mind.

I don't mind looking his smile from far away.

Every time he's with me, I would always try making him laugh, or at least smile.

And if he did, you have no idea how happy I am.

If he's being pissed, he'll always show this sad face.

AND THAT HURTS.

It's like I'm the one causing it, I did though-once-and that really kills.

He's not the helpless-romantic kind of guy, but butterflies sure do crumble in my stomach when I'm with him.

Oh and, he has this sexy smirk that would make me smile all the way to my sleep.

Oops, did I just say that?

We have different music taste, but it sure feels good listening random songs with him.

I love watching movies with him.

Holding hands even when watching horror movies.

Being kissed on the cheek and forehead, which reminds me to my daddy doing that to little me.

Being hugged so tight, which makes me feel like... I don't know, extremely happy?

We had several problems, but I don't want to talk about it.

Why look at the past? So not worth my time.

I really hope that I could spend more time with him.

Directly and indirectly.

I don't mind talking nothing, I just want to know that he's there.

He's there when I need him.

And I'm really hoping that he could be more open to me.

Who doesn't want that in their relationship?

Communication, understanding, caring, love, trust.

And which girl doesn't like to be spoiled?

Making you feel like a little girl, a princess.

That feeling is one of the best feeling you'll ever feel. I guarantee you.

It's also amazing how your boy/girlfriend can be your bestfriend.

How you can tell your problems to them.

Ask for advice, especially when they give you ridiculous ones.

How you can act crazy in front of them.

And when they act the same way with you.

I love it when he was still looking for me.

Asking me to eat lunch with him.

Or maybe just sitting and watching me eat.

Or even maybe feeding each other.

I also love spending our leisure, or maybe after school, together.

Doing nothing much, talking nothing, but not awkward.

He's different you know.

He's the first guy who asked me to be his directly, face to face.

It's not sweet but to me, it is. IT IS.

He's the first guy daring enough to pick me up for a date. And drive me home after that.

He's the first guy asking me to hang out with his friends.

The first guy who takes silly candid of me.

The first guy telling me sweet things and actually mean them.

The first guy calling me with silly nicknames and not hurt my feeling.

The first guy who took me on a very late night date.

The first guy who took silly selcas with me.

I still remember how we know we liked each other.

By a simple truth or dare game.

I still remember how he asked me to be his.

I still remember our first date, we watched a horror movie.

It was not even close to sweet. But I'm so happy and grateful.

I'm the jealous type of girl, but not the overprotective one.

And I'm the type who's willing to fight even when not being fought for.

People warned me not to love someone so much.

I know the risk. Being hurt. But I'm willing to take the risk.

When you love so much, you would.

It's sad when he's busy, but back again, I don't mind waiting.

He's not perfect, but neither am I.

Our relationship is not perfect because we're not in a movie.

Perfect is boring. I wouldn't choose being perfect.

I love him the way he is, with all his flaws.

I love us, with all the problems and imperfections.

I wouldn't want the feelings to change or fade.

If it does, I won't give up. 

I won't let go. No doubt.

I love you... to the moon, around the galaxies, planets, sun, and every stars... and back.

And I love you... to infinity... and beyond.

#RandomQuotes:

"I love you, I hope you do too. The same way I do."

"Cause you're the apple to my pie. You're the straw to my berry. You're the smoke to my high. And you're the one I wanna marry."

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."

Pictures relating #nawww:

#SoRandom: My Families

No, I'm not going to write about my mom, dad, lil bro, grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.

I'm going to write about my other families, like for example, fanbase.

1. GaLiMo (Gaga's Little Monster): Not related to Lady Gaga's fanbase! We're not really her fans, sorry. GaLiMo is my class' name. My 8th grade class to be specific. At first, we didn't realize that this name is Gaga's fanbase, but we liked this name so we used it. We shortened it to GaLiMo so it will not be too Gaga related. I love this class. Like SO MUCH! We considered ourselves as a family. We sang, danced, studied, played, etc in the same room. We laughed so hard until we couldn't breath, we laughed even at the most nonsense stuffs. We fought a lot, making an awkward surroundings, but those fights wouldn't last an hour. Back in the days, teachers would say that our class was the worst class they'd ever taught. The noisiest, naughtiest, smelliest, etc. But somehow, our teamwork, energy, efforts, determination can't be doubt. You would always hear a laugh in this class. Too bad, on 9th grade, we were divided into two different classes. And one of us, Nadela Sjaklif, moved to Jakarta. She was one of the mood booster in this class... and one of my bestfriends. Sad huh? Never mind, she's fine there. Cheers girl! Okay, moving on to my next family.

2. BELIEBERS: You sure know what Beliebers are, don't you? If you don't... Beliebers are JUSTIN DREW BIEBER's fanbase. One of the best family I've ever had. Scattered all around the world, but still considered ourselves a family. I haven't meet every one of them. DUH, you expect me to meet 49+M of them? But fortunately, I have some Beliebers Family I really know. I met them before and for sure, we fangirled a lot. And two of them are studying in the same school with me. This family is a strong one, no doubt. The only words I can say to describe this family are: flawless, strong, loving, loyal, & caring and etc etc etc. LOVES xx.

3. Directioners, Gleeks, Delevingners, Vampire, etc: WE SHARE THE SAME FEELINGS ABOUT OUR IDOLS. A strong loving feeling towards them. The same feeling of wanting to meet every one of them. I feel you guys.

4. 9▲∞: This is the name of my 9th grade class. Half of them are from GaLiMo. Some called us the smartest class, some called us the noisiest&most rebel class. I don't really care though. WE HAVE THE BEST ADVISER EVER! He's our math teacher too. He's a very disciplined, charismatic, determined, dedicated, well-mannered teacher, one of the best teacher I've ever had in my life. We gave him a cake on teacher's day cause we're having our holidays during his birthday. I miss him. A lot. He taught a lot, about math and manners. I wish him everything the best he can ever have. I'm looking forward for another math lesson from him.Oh and, the students in this class are incredibly talented and fully blessed. I love them too, they were a part of making my last junior high school year flawless. It was fun you know, having a small farewell party with them. It was worth everything. I just wish we can all meet up again and just be crazy for the whole meeting. Like we used to.

5. Chopin: This is the name of my student orientation class. According to the plan, this class will last for one school year, first year senior high school. But then, the administration said that everyone will be split up. UGH. Okay forget about that. There are a total of 6 classes, each class named after great musicians/composers like Haydn, Vivaldi, Chopin, Mozart, Puccini, Beethoven. In this school, the student orientation is scary. YES IT IS. A lot of rules you must follow, a lot of project given each day, and a lot of shouts will be heard every second. You should eat what they ask you to eat, you can't throw it or have leftovers or you'll be punished. Everything must go according to what they say. You'll always get punished for every mistake, even the smallest one. But, because of that, there's a teamwork slowly built in each class, also between the seniors and juniors. And by the end of the orientation, it's kind of weird being split to different classes. Good thing, we had a farewell party. AND IT WAS EPIC! I wish I could go back to that time where Chopinist (Chopin's senior&junior) are enjoying the time of our lives. Thank you guys for the memories.

6. This is the class I'm studying in right now. For the whole school year. We have several names though, like FiX,Infinity, Infivenity,etc. And we also have the best adviser. Our own english teacher. She's young, but not so young, and she's acting like us. HAHA, not actually acting but, she know how to act around us teenagers. She makes us feel comfortable and not lonely. I believe that this class also has a great teamwork. I don't know why, I just believe so. Even though things are not so smooth sometimes. But that's alright, nothing's perfect, not even us. I'm just wishing that we're going to have a farewell party cause I know that on 11th grade (2nd year of senior high) we will be split. We're going to choose our own path. Getting older, getting closer to college year. So, I hope that we're going to cherish each other and be blessed each day. LYGTTMAB #LoveYouGuysToTheMoonAndBack!

7. And lastly, everyone I know, everyone I considered as my friends, bestfriends, and boyfriend. You guys mean a lot to me even though MAYBE we're not so close. But I'm thankful that you guys actually talked to me, let me sing and dance like a lunatic, let me go crazy on public and don't pretend like you guys don't know me. Thank you for every advice, company, love, chitchats, gifts, everything. Wouldn't be this strong without you guys. I don't mind if you don't like/trust me & stabbing me from behind. I still love you, to the moon and rotating around the furthest planet and never back.


Maybe those are enough. It's 23:45 P.M. right now.
So goodnight! Don't let the bugs bite.


PS: It's February 1st. MAKE A WISH FOR THIS MONTH! SET A GOAL AND REACH FOR IT. I'm just hoping that this month will be FABruary.

\PSS: I don't know what happened to number 4. I'm sorry.

No goodbyes please.

Horse's Year.

Happy Chinese New Year to everyone celebrating, especially the Chinese.
It's the Horse's year and my dad's uncle was born in the horse's year so I'm dedicating a cheer for him for being so kind to me since the day that I was born. He almost made me his foster kid because he's too in love with me lol, I love him though, even we barely meet and have chitchats. Wishing you a prosperous year!

So...
I don't really feel the CNY's spirit. I don't even know why.
Maybe because I'm getting older?
When I was younger, I will always be excited.
Or maybe because it's not that fun?
Because there are only a few relatives that I can visit this year.
Yeah... maybe I'm lonely?
Maybe this, maybe that, I don't know.

#SoRandom: Exciting Things on Every Chinese New Year:
1. These will make every children excited and happy, including me, RED POCKETS! Oh you know, envelopes with unique shapes and sizes usually red-coloured filled with money given by married adults to the unmarried children, teenagers, and young-adults. The best part about them? Is guessing the amount at the moment we received it. We can't open it in front of the adults because it's considered rude, so that makes me even more curious and excited.
2. Oranges. Different house, different kind of orange. I don't mind tasting each one of them. Just one at each house. And I don't mind turning yellow.
3. Relatives&Cousins. Especially babies and toddlers! I love being any kid's babysitter when visiting. Simply because they're cute, cute, and cute. I can't take my eyes off them nawwwwww. I want a new baby bro/sis, nahh, just kidding. Sometimes I just want to steal those babies and bring them home because of the cuteness overload. Don't call me crazy cause I'm just kidding.
4. Reunion Dinner. This is the time where families come together and have dinner. It's fun. Really. Especially meeting your cousins whom you haven't meet for a while.
5. Nostalgia(s). When you're meeting your old/adult relatives, they will always tell stories about us. Starting from the day that we were born, and how we grow until today. And showing our old pictures that they kept. It's also fun cause we'll be laughing and laughing at our old-selves.

So, those were the things popping in my head. I was kinda sad though, my friends were hanging out and I can't join. But, we still have a long time. By this sentence, it's 2:01 A.M. here... Yes, I can't sleep. Maybe 10 more minutes. #notimportant

HAHA, okay then, since I hate saying goodbye, goodnight, sweet dreams, sleep tight, don't let the bugs bite. God bless y'all. Once again, Happy Chinese New Year, may you have a prosperous and a blessed year ahead!

#SoRandom: Love and Dislike

You know what? I both love & kind of dislike myself.

I love how easy I make friends and dislike how easy people unfriend me.

I love how bubbly I am and dislike how I get sensitive easily.

I love being talkative but dislike my voice.

I love to sing but dislike my voice.

I love being crazy but dislike being annoying.

I love to dance but dislike looking at my body dancing.

I love to eat a lot but dislike how fat I'll get.

I love to study but dislike it when someone ask me to.

I love to being on social medias and dislike how easily I get addicted to it.

I love being a fangirl but dislike the dramas.

I love being a fan and dislike the haters.

I love polite people and dislike respect-less(?) people.

I love people who can be crazy and dislike annoying people.

I love to stalk and dislike to be curious.

I love my phone but dislike how lag it is.

I love my family but dislike how annoying they can be.

I love to play games but dislike getting weary eyes.

I love staying up late but dislike having panda eyes.

I love my own mindset but dislike how wrong it can be.

I love to see beautiful girls but dislike how jealous I will get.

I love being an active girl but dislike how I get tired and sick easily.

I love to laugh&smile but dislike the fact that most of them are fake.

I love to cry but dislike it when I don't even know why.

I love delicious food and dislike the fats they have.

I love being spoiled by someone and dislike the fact that it rarely happens.

I love my daddy but dislike it when he's being care-less.

I love my mommy but dislike it when I can't tell her something.

I love my brother but dislike it when he's being so annoying.

I love my friends but dislike it when I can't rely on them.

I love my room but dislike how easy it gets dirty.

I love to watch movies but dislike how heavy my eyes will be.

I love to whine and dislike to whine.

I love memories&flashback but dislike how emotional I can be.

I love to read but dislike it when I can't control my time.

I love animals but dislike cats.

I love to watch horror&thriller but dislike how scared I will be.

I love to take selfies and dislike the look of my face in the picture.

I love Justin Bieber and dislike his haters.

I love cold weather but dislike how weak I can be.

I love warm weather but dislike how it annoys me.

I love ice cream but dislike being sick after eating it.

I love english but dislike how suck I use the language.

I love learning but dislike how hard it is to.

I love guitar and dislike the fact that I'm not pro enough.

I love piano but dislike how short my fingers are.

I love to hope and dislike it when I disappoint myself.

I love to draw but dislike the results.

I love to take selfies with him but dislike it when he doesn't want to.

I love the fashion world but dislike how unfashionable I am.

I love the photography world but dislike how amateur I am.

I love babies but dislike to hear them cry.

I love to tell stories but dislike how hard it is to tell about what I feel.

I love braiding but dislike it when I can't braid myself.

I love to scream&shout but dislike to annoy myself.

I love loud music but dislike how sleepy I will be.

I love slow music but dislike how sleepy I will be.

I love to write but dislike how it turns out.

I love to travel but dislike it when no one is there to travel with.

I love surprises but dislike being shocked.

I love sleeping but dislike how hard it is to wake up.

I love to cook but dislike how slow I am.

I love him and dislike his bad habits.

I love myself and dislike my bad habits.

I'm done, for now. This took me an hour lol. 

Have a great one!

Random pics to relate to this post:

Yes!

Aww :(

I love this last pic.

HELLO!

Well hello, let me introduce myself (too formal? lol). My name is Steffani Sylvia Tan, I have a lot of nicks such as Stef, Steffy, Stefafa, Via, Pia, etc. I blow candles every early August which makes me a Leo girl and I was born in the year of the Tiger. I'm a half Chinese half Bataknese living in a small town named Batam - Indonesia. Right now, I'm a first year senior high school student. I live with my handsome dad and lil bro and a beautiful mom - I'm an ugly duckling (lol). I love to dance and sing and play music instruments, even though I can't. I like to read, watch movies, eat a lot, sleep, bla...bla...bla... oh and also taking pictures. I'm a selfless addict! I simply get addicted with series movies and food. I am a super-massive Belieber and I freaking love Justin Bieber. Yes I really do. I'm also a Gleek, a Vampire, a Delevingner, and a Directioner. My life is both wonderful and horrible, but is always blessed.