Rawr!

F to the I to the E to the R to the C to the E to the S to the T!
F-I-E-R-C-E-S-T!
Well, that's my new family.

So, this year's curriculum has been putting loads on my, well every Indonesian students', shoulder(s).
It's all about home-works, portfolios, projects, presentations, test, and more home-works.
We really have work so hard on everything.
It's not a day without holding a book or two.
One of the teacher even gave us a surprise monthly test.
*sigh*
The only good thing about this is that most of the projects are done by groups.
And thanks God my classmates are cooperative.
We would do it together and help each other out.
Well, enough about school.

My class is somehow different.
No, not the bad kind of different but the cute one(?)
This class is really annoying, and I mean it.
But, they're also magical. HAHA
They would be so sweet, so funny, so wonderful.
Like a family :)
I just hope the rumors about class rotations are not true.
I wouldn't want to change a thing about this class.
I'm used to it already.
But I would still love to hit a wall looking at them.
I love them lol.

My parents would let me go out with my friends more than I used to.
But the "night hour" is still available.
Nah, it's okay, makes me closer to them.
But recently, I sprained my ankle......after falling from a bicycle.
And that made me like someone with a broken leg...
Now I know how miserable it is not to have a normal foot.
Prayers to all.

As I'm typing, I tried to remember what I'm doing recently.
And I just realized that everything I do recently is studying.
Wow, I'm everything I told people I would never be, a-not-lazy student.

Okay, so I'm starting to babble crazy.
See you :)

Level Up.

Since last month, I finally graduate the friggin 10th grade.
And guess what?
I got in the science major!
Nothing to be proud of, I know.
But, this really paid off every hard work and effort.
Thanks God.

We had approximately 3 weeks of holiday.
I spent the first week by sleeping, watching movies online, re-reading my old comics and novels. barely showering, eating food and snacks, and every-lazy-thing else.
I had a 4-days trip to the nearest country to my city, Singapore.
Not alone, but with 7 others.
I don't recall doing any shopping spree.
But I do remember we went to a water park, ate a lot of food etc.
I spent the last 2 weeks of holiday at school.
Busy preparing and meeting for the students orientation day, here known as MOS.
We came to the school when no other students did.
The orientation was hell of fun.
Tiring, so very tiring, yet fun.
We got to scold our juniors when they didn't follow our instructions.
But, we're scolding them not for the sake of fun, but just to educate them a little bit.
We got to give them a little education, teach them jingles, etc.

There were 7 classes for this year's 10th grade.
I was the tutor in Science 3.
Oh, and each classes have their own names, which in this case, Science 3's class name's Bill Gates.
At first, everyone pissed me off because if not following instructions.
But then, I am (kind of) fond of them.
Another family given by God to me.
This year, I also got into the class of Science 3.
No, this class haven't made any name.
I'm really hoping that I could do well in this class.
I'm actually scared, because of the new curriculum.
This new curriculum,for sure, will really push us to our limits. #sosure
But, oh well, anything to pay off our parents' hard work.
Wish me luck! *crosses fingers*

I've been through a rough time.
This.
Couple.
Of.
Months.
*sigh*
About everything.
About people.
About life.
But, being sad about it all the time wouldn't fix anything.
It's okay to be sad and cry right?
As long as we don't do it then make others worry...right?

Well, I'm starting to talk nonsense.
It's 2:08 AM now, so I need to go..............................
Continue downloading some more music HAHA
Goodnight;Goodmorning everyone!

Okay?

So... by looking at this post's title, it's obvious that I read and watched The Fault in Our Stars.
WHICH made my cried. Okay, that's cheesy.

But seriously tho, this story is just flawless.
The novel itself made me so attached to it, I couldn't resist not reading it.
And the movie itself, just like other novel-adapted movie, is not a hundred percent the same with the book.
Some scenes from the book were not shown, which was devastating , of course.
Some scenes were there, but I think were changed, which was... not so bad.
And the rest was just flawless.
The tears were worth it, I promise. #anothercheesyphrase
Don't worry, I won't spoil anything.
But this movie-book are highly recommended.
Do enjoy! #ThankYouJohnGreen

Well....
It's almost a year since I first got into senior high.
It was scary at first (it really was), but it's not that bad after all.
The teachers and subject were sure hard, but everything else was enjoyable.
And it's almost a year since I'm in this awesome class.
I had mentioned them earlier and even made a post about them.
This Friday, June 20th 2014, we're going to make this farewell party.
Simply because this week will be the last week for us to be together.
After this Saturday, June 21st (which is the day for us to take our report cards), we won't be classmates anymore.
It's sad because to be freaking honest, I'm proud of this class.
No freaking bullies and no freaking racism.
Groups were 'naturally' made, so it's fine.
I'm proud of being a part of this class.
And I really would like to apologize to everyone.
I know that I'm such a douchie and such a pain in the as* to all of you guys.
I know that I'm such a talkative and annoying person.
But that only happens every time I'm comfortable with someone, so yeah.
No heart feelings?
You guys filled my first year of senior high with a lot of lessons learned, smiles mended, tears wasted and leisure well-used.
I'm also annoyed by you guys, every.single.day.
But I have no regrets knowing and befriending you guys.
Thank you... for everything... especially for the companies.

"Thank you for our little infinity." -The Fault in Our Stars.

P.S: I hope that we would all pass this year.
P.Ss: And I really hope that our bond would not be broken.

May!

Okay... I'm so late but...
It's the freaking month of May!
Which means that....
I'm taking my final exam this month.
*sigh*
Moving on!
I don't know what to talk about April...
I don't really enjoy that month.
A lot of holidays = tons of homework & tests!
A week of holiday = 2 weeks of non-stop homework & tests.
And if I'm not mistaken...
I received my mid-sem report card.
Turned out great, actually, yey.
Except for one subject... economy.
Screw that (:
Oh! Wait... The Holy Week was on April.
The only thing that excites me (?)
Easter was amazing... even though this is my first Easter without egg-hunting :(
The Church was not giving out eggs, so no one had an egg-search.

Hmmm... I really have no topic for this post.

I started the month of April and May roughly.
Seriously...
I was changed (?) as class president a week before.
I don't mind though.
It'll only last for a month, since the exam is this month.
But, seriously? Until now, I don't know how it feels to be a class president.
Most of the teachers still depend on the ex-president.
Nah, I'm okay with that.
I'm not really stressing that out lol.
OH AND I'm really working my sweat off to see these on my card
Math         -75
Biology     -75
Physics     -75
Chemistry -75
Because, I'm hoping to take Science major next year.
Science major because I can't handle Social.
No, not being arrogant or watevs, but, I am so weak on Social.
I don't know why some people would always say that Science major's students are cleverer than Social's.
For me, everyone is great on their own major.
Science's great for Science, and Social's for Social.
Enough for that now.
Thinking about scores are devastating.
I really want to be an exchange student.
Ah, forget it.

I'm having this movie-making project.
Not going well.
Friday's the deadline.
No.
No way.
I hope that it'll be done soon.

School is stressing tbh.
Kill meh!
Nah, just kidding.
I still want to continue my studies.
*evil kisses*

I'm still going to post another one tonight.
And that is only when I'm having the mood to.

Nicholas Sparks's.

Recently, I like to watch movies until late night.

Ho Ho Ho.

AND, I'm in love with some drama movies.

Movies that are adapted from Nicholas Sparks's novel.

Nicholas Sparks is a novelist-scriptwriter from the U S of A.

Wiki says that he wrote 17 bestseller novels.

No, I don't read/have the novels.

8 out of 17 novels are adapted to movies.

And I've watched 7 out of 8 movies.

I haven't watch "Night in Rodanthe".

I COULDN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE ON THE INTERNET.

*sobs* 

Okay... moving on.

1. Message in a Bottle (1999)

    For me, this movie is just okay compared to the others. But if this story actually happened to a couple...damn. That should be so romantic and unforgettable huh? It's amazing to watch their effort to be with each other and how the girl cures/heals(?) this guy's past memories.

"Teresa, I don't want to lose you."
"Then don't."

2. A Walk to Remember (2002)

    This is a very romantic and meaningful movie. It's about a rebel teen who actually changed because of a girl which was later diagnosed with a leukemia. He granted every single wish she had including getting married in the same chapel as was her deceased mother. But then, she passed. This movie is touching.

"I'm sorry she never got her miracle."
"She did get her miracle, Landon, her miracle was you."

3. The Notebook (2004)

    I don't know, I just like this movie a lot. This story is about an elderly man reading a romantic story to a patient on a nursing home. Turns out that the main character in that story was the two of them. And in the end, they died together. You should really watch this, the feelings are different if I told it.

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday."

4. Nights in Rodanthe (2008)

    Haven't watch :( soon I hope :)

5. Dear John (2010)

    Ahh... another romantic movie. It's about summer loving continued into a long distance relationship because the guy was an army. They sent each others letters while they're away. But then, the girl got married with someone else, a relative, which then broke his heart. But then, the husband passed. And in the end, the two met again. The main male character? Channing Tatum <3

"I fell in love with her when we were together, then fell deeper in love with her in the years we were apart."

6. The Last Song (2010)

    This movie's main characters are Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth. Aww, ikr? This one's sweet. It tells how she got closer to her dad since the divorce. About how he got close to him but wasn't approved(?) by his mom. But then, in the end, he moved to another college (not the one his mom wants) just to be with her. I love their chemistry like a lot a lot.

"He was ordinary in a world that loved the extraordinary."

7. The Lucky One (2012)

    The male lead is Zac Efron *chokes**lovestruck*. This movie is also greaattt. If this really happens, I would go "awwwww". He was on a war when he found a girl's picture which he considered a life saver because since then, he's saved until the end. He then looked for the girl in the picture and found her. HE couldn't tell her the reason he's there and ended working for her. They fell in love and after a lot of problems, they're together.

"Why did you come here?"
"To find you."

8. Safe Haven (2013)

    Okay, another must-watch movie. The story's about a girl who left her husband for good then stayed in a small town(?). He then got close with a shop owner, his 2 children, and her neighbor. A lot happened, including her husband coming to look for her and then got killed. The shop got burned down too. But, they actually become a family in the end and a mystery about her neighbor was revealed.

"Every couple needs to argue now and then. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys."

The point is that all of these movies are romantic and also touching.

I cried on some scenes...hmm...

I have no regrets watching them.

If you're feeling sentimental and have nothing to do.

These movies are recommended.

I love them to bits.

Well, I guess that's all.

I'm getting sleepy.

Good night. 

Hello love.

Another post of me whining.
Sorry... *sigh*

So, here I am breaking down.
NAH, I'm on the edge.
Okay, moving on...
I'm not feeling good... mentally.
I'm mentally sick, yes, I'm crazy, whatever.
And right now, I don't know where to start.

Hmmm...
I'm sad.
Lonely.
Pathetic huh? I think so too.
It's hard to tell what I want to tell.
I'm all mixed up.

I still remember when my religion teacher asked me a question.
Do you have a best friend? Why can you tell that someone is your best friend?
I said I do have and when he asked who, I couldn't speak a word.
It's clear in my head that I consider everyone my best friend.
But then, not even a single name came out from my mouth.
He then explained what a best friend is.
Best friend(s) are those who speak and listen, give but never ask, etc.
I still think that everyone is my best friend though.
I just can't admit it.
I never can.
Since primary school until now.
I'm scared that when I say so, everyone will just say they're not.
And I sure would hurt if they really say that.
I don't remember telling my mom or anyone else who my best friend(s) is/are.
We can never tell what people really think about us.

For some reason, I'm always left out on a group of people.
I couldn't fit in... as always.
I would always be the pathetic one.
I'm the burden there. The bad aura.
Something like that lol.
Who on earth wants to hang out with me?
I can barely ask someone out lol.

Then...
I hate myself...
For being jealous, moody, etc.
I get that feelings even when people tell me I shouldn't.
I don't know...
I just miss everything.
I don't want things to change.
Right now, something has changed.
The spark is gone.
I miss it... a lot.
I miss making...smile.
I miss everything about...
I want everything back.
I know that people/everything change but...at least...
I just want...to be mine.
So this guilt won't haunt me.

I still want to be the reason to your laughter and your smile.
Not your tears and anger.
I want to be a blessing to you.
Not a burden.
I want to love and be loved.

Hello love.

Dear Blog

I don't have a diary.
I don't want to have one either.
But sometimes, there are things that I want to share with someone/something so badly.
So, this blog will be my diary-like.

Dear blog,
Why am I such an awful person?
I am such a terrible person.
One of the thing that I hate the most about myself is jealousy.
I get so jealous even about the smallest problem.
Here's why I'm talking about this.
My parents are the strict type.
I can't go out of house after 6 pm.
My friends, and him, likes to go out after 6.
Automatically, I can't join them.
But then, I would get jealous.
I'll always think that I'm no good girl for feeling like that.
It's not their fault, but I'm jealous.
Also when he's so so so friendly with others, I usually walk away cause usually, I have no idea of what to say or do.
He'll be this sweet friendly guy with them.
He would play fights with some of them.
I know exactly that he's just friendly, but it's okay to be jealous right?
I would always remind myself to be positive but sometimes... it bothers me.
This next one is about social medias, but I'll pass.
I feel so childish and so stupid.
I am even jealous with his games.
I really feel so stupid talking about this.
But I need to let it out.
Just this once.
Because, I just can't hold it every single time.
I'm afraid to tell about this directly to him or just my friends cause I don't want to look like I'm begging for... you know. :)
It's fun you know, to look at him play with his friends, joke with them, you can see his happy face.
But then, I would always be the mood crusher, it's like every time I stay, they would watch their words and actions.
It's like a 180 degree of environment change.
And that... is also the reason why I walk away when his having his friends.
I'm not the type of girl who makes a fun situation.
That's why, every time I get jealous, I would always remind myself:
"He needs his space and refreshing, back off."
Yeah, I still sound so stupid huh
Well, not everything is told here, but at least, some of it.
A bit relieved... a bit.
There are still a lot bugging me, killing me slowly.
These tears are even dried up, lol.
But, what else can I do?
Knowing that he's happy is already a relieve.

SOOOOOO
I'm just going to lay on my bed and...
I don't know.
Bye.